Life in the time of Corona.

Coronavirus disease -19 (COVID-19) came without warning. Like a tornado uprooting all our lives. I remembered the first time when I felt COVID-19 was something serious. During late February, of course people had read in the news about this strange respiratory infection that started in Wuhan and the draconian measures that the whole of Hubei province implemented. Malaysia was not spared and was battling the first few cases of COVID-19. But it all seemed foreign and far removed from me.

But as weeks flew by, I realized that the situation was creeping closer to home. One of our microbiologists, who attended a meeting about COVID-19, gave us a short briefing about the general measures that International Islamic University Malaysia Medical Centre (IIUMMC ) would take should COVID-19 breach Kuantan. We even had our doctors tell us to question patients about recent travel history to China and other countries.

In fact, we even had one or two questions on COVID-19 during our end of block exams in early March! So, at that point in time, COVID-19 was all everyone talked about.

What is COVID-19 anyway? Let’s get a bit medical here, since I’m a medical student and I’d like to share some knowledge. So COVID-19 stands for coronavirus disease 2019. So essentially the disease caused by coronavirus which was first identified in late 2019. Coronaviruses are a group of common viruses some of which are responsible for the common cold. It is named because of the spikes on their surface which resembles crowns which is the word corona in latin.

So is COVID-19 the same as the common cold? The answer is no. The coronavirus has a tendency to mutate and this is a new never seen before mutation. That’s why it was termed n-CoV or novel coronavirus initially. But through research, they found that the causative agent of the disease is related to the Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus ( SARS-CoV) and named it SARS-CoV2. So SARS-CoV2 is the virus and COVID-19 is the disease. If the name SARS-CoV seems familiar, that’s because SARS-CoV and the Middle East Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus (MERS-CoV) are also previous mutations of the coronavirus which are responsible for serious lung infections and pandemics in the 21st Century.

Like with most other coronaviruses, COVID-19 spreads through droplets of infected persons. Which is why social distancing measures, handwashing, and not touching your face is of the utmost importance. As the droplets can only travel to a maximum distance of 1-2 meters, and we unknowingly spread it if we touch our faces after our hands have been contaminated. So if we can curb the spread of this disease, we can minimize the amount of sick people which need hospitalization and intensive care, thereby reducing the strain on our health services to a more manageable state. This is termed as flattening the curve.

Another point which I would like to share is why Malaysia has a low mortality rate which stands at 1.64% at the time of writing. One of many reasons is because of a relatively high testing rate. Because the majority of persons infected are asymptomatic or only have mild symptoms ( some sources say about 80-90% is asymptomatic), a higher testing rate means that we will catch more of the asymptomatic carriers and those with only mild symptoms. Thus, a lower proportion of people are having complications and dying from the disease. Having said that, our testing rate is actually low if compared with developed countries with a similar population eg Canada. But the Ministry of Health (MOH) is doing a good job currently with all our limitations in funding to get more testing kits and lab facilities. Ok. End of lesson and back to the essay.

But life goes on. We had our exams and my friends and I went back to our hometowns for our customary one week break. On Saturday, a few days prior to the Movement Control Order (MCO) , I even joked with a friend that I hoped something like quarantine or a lockdown would happen in Malaysia. Partly because there was already a sense of dread that I can’t shake no matter how many Kdramas I watched, partly because I saw that some other countries had already implemented lockdown measures, and also partly because I really didn’t want to go back to Kuantan. Haha.

Well, a few days later, my wish was realized albeit I was already a full two days deep in my new block. There was a mad scramble to go home and a bout of panic buying at the shops.

And when netizens criticized students who had gathered at all forms of public transportation and police stations across the country, I felt some guilt even though I used my own car to go home and rarely stopped along the way. And guilt seems to be a recurring theme in this pandemic, I felt guilty that I wasn’t doing enough as a final year medical student. Especially when I saw that other final year medical students in foreign countries graduated early to serve as doctors battling this pandemic. I don’t have much money to give and the Ministry of Health (MOH) doesn’t want medical students as volunteers. I even felt guilty posting pictures of food and family on instagram because I know that some of my friends are stuck in Mahallah far from their own family. But I consoled myself by saying, staying home with my family is the best thing that I could possibly do in this situation. And I realized the privilege that I have, being close with family, in a comfortable home with wifi, and not worrying about where my next meal comes from.

However, I didn’t feel guilty enough to not waste time. In my head, I know that this is probably the longest break that I’ll have before my final professional exam which will determine whether I’m a safe doctor or not (medical students rarely have long breaks), and I should study accordingly. But again, THIS is the longest break that I’ll have before graduation so I just want to hang and let loose. Temptations are everywhere and they are so very sweet. In the space of a month, I suddenly developed five new interests, some of them persevered and some of them withered. None of them involved studying. I read four books, attempted dozens of recipes, *tried* to exercise, tried my hand at ukulele, painted , bought new makeup and organized half my wardrobe (the other half currently lays in a heap on my bedroom floor).

Amongst the cooking fails worthy of “Masak Apa Tak Jadi Hari Ini” (I’m not giving up on that lemon chicken until it’s palatable), I also forced myself to study some chapters of a textbook and attend optional online classes that our kindhearted lecturers give. Scrolling through instagram, I saw a lot of motivational posts that say that you are a waste of space and time if you don’t come out of this quarantine with a side hustle, new knowledge and skills. But then other people argue that everyone’s situation is different. We’re not self isolating in our homes by choice. We’re in the middle of a once in lifetime pandemic and the only thing that we need to do is survive. So be kind to yourselves. Just take each day as it comes and do better next time.

I also found the simple pleasures in life, like the sound of the neighborhood birds chirping in the morning (even though there are lizards and mosquitoes in the evening), pursuing my varied interests which I previously didn’t have the time for, watching the sunset from the windows in my bedroom, and spending quality time with my family. Even grocery shopping feels like a treat, all bundled up in layers of protection, and wary about coughing and sneezing in public, lest they kick me out of the grocery store.

I even found ways to live vicariously, through the wonders of online shopping and travel shows. I started planning for my next trip in an undetermined future, dreaming for the days that we can travel again. Seeing everyday acts of kindness by our health heroes and fellow Malaysians made my heart swell. Even though I was a few hundred ringgit poorer, but my heart was full.

I also celebrated my 24th birthday during the 2nd phase of the MCO. I remembered wishing may my small sacrifice and other Malaysians sacrifice to stay indoors be worth it.

Then the blessed month of Ramadan came. A Ramadan without our beloved bazaar and solat Terawih in mosques.

However, it was still full of blessings. This Ramadan teaches me a lot about patience. Will I still be consistent in praying Terawih without congregational prayers in mosques? Will I help my mother prepare food for iftar and the washing up after?

It’s easy to be disheartened and to feel like our individual contribution doesn’t amount to much, but it does. That’s the power of the jemaah. I’d like to quote Dr Ed Hope, a youtuber vlogging about the pandemic. He says that the healthcare workers are not the frontliners. It’s you. And me. It’s the collective public who practice social distancing measures, bearing being apart from their loved ones, exercising indoors because the gyms are closed , cancelling non essential travel and only going out when there’s a need. And when the frontlines are breached, that’s when the sick and wounded are tended to by our healthcare heroes.

I’m always amazed by the enduring spirit of the human race. There will come a day when we are able to go back to our kampungs, where we can celebrate Raya with open houses full of people, and when this will all feel like a distant memory. But until a vaccine or effective treatment is found(which will take months to years), let’s embrace this new normal, say prayers for those who we’ve lost, and live.